Monday, September 7, 2009

Insert Ironic Phrase About Blind Rage Here

I have been sick all weekend. Virus, bacterial something-or-other, glued to the sofa, pounding headache, burning up then freezing, body ache, sleeping all day sick. ALL. WEEKEND. This just means I have had a lot of time to watch television. Too much time (as if there is such a thing). Today, I turned on TLC and Toddlers and Tiaras was on. And seeing as how this show drove me into a rageful, disgusted frenzy, this blog is sure to be disjointed, choppy, and hard to understand.

In what world is it okay for a 4 year old, A FOUR YEAR OLD, to go to the spa for 5 hours?!?! FIVE HOURS! Emily, who is described by her father as a "princess" (and by me as"spoiled brat"), was taken to the spa for a facial, manicure, pedicure, haircut, and a massage. You know, to destress the FOUR YEAR OLD. Maybe her life wouldn't be so stressful if her parents didn't dress her up like a prostitute and force her to parade around on stage for other people to judge. These people caked on make-up and sprayed enough Aqua Net on this poor child to double the size of the hole in the O-Zone layer. Then, her father made the statement, "We're not superficial. It's really not about the looks to us." UGH. And then, when the mother and Emily were running late, the mother reassured Emily that, "they will wait for us." That's right, go ahead and teach your child the valueable life lesson that the whole world is here to wait for you. And she wins. SHE FREAKING WINS.

Moving on. Rylen (I guess that's how she spells it. She'll probably make it easier for herself one day and just spell it C-A-N-D-Y at the club in 15 years). Rylen's mother allowed her to throw a temper tauntrum and roll herself up in the floor rug. And she just let her get away with being a brat. She, too, claims that it's not about "beauty." She didn't want to get too glitzy, so she just teased the hell out of her hair and only put on a little make-up. On a FOUR YEAR OLD. This child got 3rd runner-up. She was, in all honesty, a very pretty little girl. But, come on. Leave the poor child alone.

Ok, I'm going to stop because I could go on forever. I think we all know how I feel about it now anyway.

Update: Just heard the word "centerfold" used to describe an award given to a 7 year old. Just became physically ill.

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